Sometimes life has a habit of breaking a person, but Lori’s discovered there’s a reason for it. Better things are around the corner. She didn’t realize that at first, but after things went sour, a light beckoned, an anchor in the form of a man named Jaska.
He ignites her soul, understands her needs more than she does. She embarks on a journey, one that has many twists and turns, and with Jaska guiding her, she doesn’t think it can go wrong. Except there are terms to their relationship, a contract they’re bound by, and no matter what, they’re not supposed to express how they feel about each other. It’s dangerous—falling in love isn’t allowed.
But Lori has fallen in love, and the year Jaska has given to teach her the ways of the lifestyle is both pain and pleasure—and not only from spankings. It’s pain—she loves him but can’t express it. It’s pleasure—she gets to spend time with him.
Denial is the name of the game for both of them. Deny their feelings and everything will work out fine. But Lori knows that somewhere down the line during this year she’ll have to open her mouth and tell him how she feels. The question is—when?
Guest Post: The dilemmas we humans have
by Natalie Dae
Sometimes, we have the most private things happen to us that we wish we could share with someone else. The problem is, we talk ourselves out of sharing our secrets through fear of people thinking we’re weird, don’t we? There must be something you’ve thought and wished you could share but have stopped yourself. The thing is, if you only told someone, you’d more than likely be relieved because that person may very well turn around and tell you they’ve thought the same thing. They, in turn, are then relieved that they aren’t weird!
Lori in Denial has naughty dreams. She doesn’t trust her work friends, and her partner, Ricky…well, she doesn’t think he’d be too happy knowing how rude her dreams actually are. So she’s stuck with this secret, one that eats her up emotionally, because she has to hold it all inside. Also, she isn’t getting what she needs from Ricky—in the bedroom—and her dreams are a by-product of that. So to tell Ricky that not only is she meeting up with numerous fellas while she sleeps, but that she feels he isn’t giving her what she wants and needs… It could lead to a distressing conversation, one she isn’t sure she can deal with. However, Lori realizes that she can’t keep going this way. To get what she needs, she has to open her mouth and tell him—otherwise, how can he fix something that he doesn’t know is broken?
Ah, the dilemmas we humans have…
Life is full of them, isn’t it?
I wanted Lori to be able to be her real self instead of carrying certain burdens around inside her head. It was going to be a big task for her to open up, but I was sure that Ricky would be willing to help her through her problems. I don’t plot my books, but I assumed Ricky would be just like I mentioned at the top of this post. He would admit to having dreams like that too, and they could run off into the sunset together, knowing they could tell each other anything.
But plots have a habit of changing on me.
And Ricky… Let’s just say he surprised me.
Ricky slept on, and I took a moment to pull myself together.
Those dreams, they were becoming more frequent, and it was only a matter of time before I came so violently from one of them that Ricky woke up and caught me.
How the bloody hell would I explain that?
Secrets, that was what I had. I never used to have any, so to hold as many as I did inside me these days was more than a little daunting. These secrets, they were getting a bit much to bear. I wanted to let them out, share them with somebody, but I had no one except Ricky or maybe the girls at work. Fiona, one of the nosiest, wasn’t someone I trusted enough, and the others…well, they were just as bad, ready to pass things along at the drop of a hat. So that just left Ricky, and there was no way I could admit these dreams to him.
‘You like that so much that I’m going to do what you said. Make it so you can’t sit down for a week.’
I’d swear my arse was actually stinging, as though that man had really slapped it. It felt as though I’d left him somewhere, in limbo, waiting for me to return so he could finish what he’d started.
“Bloody stupid,” I whispered.
I stared at the shadowy ceiling. A streak of light appeared, then vanished quickly as a car went by out on the road. People’s headlights always did that, seeking entrance in the gaps between our curtains. In the past, when we’d been fucking, those streaks had lit up one side of our bodies, giving me glimpses of Ricky’s once-taut muscles.
I couldn’t remember the last time that had happened—in the light or the dark.
The only time I got fucked was in my dreams.
If you were to describe your e-book/book in only one word, what would it be?
What would you say inspired you to write it?
The need to stand up and say what you want in life instead of accepting the mediocre.
Have you ever been hit by the infamous “writer’s block”? What did you do to escape it?
Yes, but I just move to another book if one isn’t working for me.
Would you say becoming an author has changed you? In what way?
Yes, I see things more deeply than I did before—or I saw them deeply back then but didn’t know how to process them in my mind. Now, I see a lot of life is the same as a book plot and there is always a way to finding a happy-ever-after.
Was there ever a time, during your work on the e-book/book, when you felt like giving up? What made you change your mind?
Yes! I stopped writing on it for months because the emotions were too much. But the story kept nagging, and I knew if I didn’t finish it I would regret it.
What does your day-to-day life consist of? What else do you do, aside writing?
I’m a full-time cover artist so that fills my work days. I also love reading. I can’t imagine not reading.
How do you deal with bad reviews or acid criticism? What would you advise other authors to that effect?
I tend not to read reviews, but if I do happen by one and it’s negative, I’m probably a strange one, but they tend to make me laugh. Life is too short to get upset over one person’s opinion. The book wasn’t for them—shrug and move on. There are plenty more authors out there who can make that reviewer happy.
What do you have stored for us in the future? What are you working on/planning on next, aside this title/series?
I have a witch series in mind.
If you could wish for any one thing, and it would immediately come true, what would you wish for?
That my children never knew a moment’s unhappiness for the rest of their lives.
If you were stranded on an isolated island, what’s the one book you’d absolutely wish to have with you?
Duma Key by Stephen King.
Name your favorite fruit.
Coffee or tea?
I like both so much… Tea if pushed to choose.
Favorite food for breakfast?
I don’t eat breakfast!
Latest book you’ve bought and read?
No Hiding Place by M. A. Comely
Do you collect things like stamps, or key chains, or shoes?
Nope, although I do have a thing about throw pillows!
Favorite color, you know you want to tell us!
Depends on the day. Today it’s orange.
Drama or comedy?
Have a fav quote or personal motto?
Live life your way.
Cats or dogs?
Dinner by candlelight or a night out clubbing?
Dinner by candlelight.
What first came to mind after reading question no. 1 of the Fun Facts section? I mean that thing that you reconsidered after giving it more thought 😛
LOL, my answer to #1 was my first thought.
If everyone would receive a prize for being best at something, you’d be no. 1 at…
Giving advice. I should have been an agony aunt.
If a character from any book could become real and you could spend a day with them, it would be… from the book…
Jaska, from my own book, Denial!
You were/are a hardcore fan of…
UB40. Not so much these days.
The one thing that always brightens your day is…
Actually waking up.
About the Author & Links:
Natalie Dae is a multi-published author in three pen names writing in several genres. Natalie writes mainly BDSM erotica. She loves a Dom/sub relationship and is fascinated by how it all works. The trust issue is the best thing about it for her, so creating characters who have to adopt trust is one of her priorities. “Watching my characters bloom under tuition is such a treat,” she says. “I find it such a privilege to be able to write about something that makes me learn something new with every book.”
She lives with her husband and youngest daughter in England and spends her spare time reading—always reading!—and her phone, complete with Kindle app, is never far away. “I can’t imagine not reading or writing,” she says. “It’s a part of who I am. Without it I’d be more than a bit lost.”
Natalie has many more BDSM tales swimming around in her head, so her workload for the future is very full. “What better way to spend a weekend than writing?” she says. “Saturdays are my main writing days, so I get up, open up a work in progress and rarely leave the desk. Unless I really have to!”
She writes at weekends and is a cover artist/head of art in her day job. In another life she was an editor. Her other pen names are Geraldine O’Hara and Sarah Masters. Natalie also co-authors as Sarah Masters with Jaime Samms, and she co-authors with Lily Harlem under the name Harlem Dae.